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barushOkay, so, lately I've been really considering making an appointment with some psychiatrist. Because it's getting worse and worse with my anxiety, it's even making me physically sick at some points. The often visits of various doctors don't really help at all. I mean, the problems I currently have are totally unrelated but it all started at the same time basically so there hasn't been a day lately that I wouldn't go to a doctor, blood tests or at least chemist's. My mother's so fucking overprotective and worried about me and I know it's her attitude making me feel like this. It's like, when she thinks I'm dying I'll think I'm dying too. Then, it's holiday so I have basically nothing to stress over and lots of time to think - that's bad! Because then I'm making myself sick with worrying about everything from the sheer lack of anything better to do. Also, I've had kinda high level of 'stress hormones' in my last blood tests (a few weeks ago) with virtually nothing stressful happening in my life. Except for the constant anxiety.
So, back to the original thought, I'm almost positive at least like half of my current problems are psychosomatic. A psychiatrist would surely help. However, the major problem is, my mother's a psychologist. A well-known one at that, so that means even I know most the psychiatrists in our city, as they're my mother's friends. The one I've been to before is probably the best choice, but she knows my mother pretty well. I know she couldn't tell anyone if I went there, but people at the clinic where she sits know me too. And people talk. Well, I really don't want my mother to know if I decided to go there. And that thought of her possibly finding out would just add to my anxiety. So, at this point, I'm lost. I have a few numbers of other psychiatrists but the problem is I know what they're like.
I'm telling myself I'll wait till the school starts again 'cause then there'll be much more to think about so maybe I'll forget about all this. But then again, holidays is the ideal time to sort stuff like this so I dunno. I have no clue what I'll do.
Oh well. I guess I've used up my whining quota for at least a week now.
So, back to the original thought, I'm almost positive at least like half of my current problems are psychosomatic. A psychiatrist would surely help. However, the major problem is, my mother's a psychologist. A well-known one at that, so that means even I know most the psychiatrists in our city, as they're my mother's friends. The one I've been to before is probably the best choice, but she knows my mother pretty well. I know she couldn't tell anyone if I went there, but people at the clinic where she sits know me too. And people talk. Well, I really don't want my mother to know if I decided to go there. And that thought of her possibly finding out would just add to my anxiety. So, at this point, I'm lost. I have a few numbers of other psychiatrists but the problem is I know what they're like.
I'm telling myself I'll wait till the school starts again 'cause then there'll be much more to think about so maybe I'll forget about all this. But then again, holidays is the ideal time to sort stuff like this so I dunno. I have no clue what I'll do.
Oh well. I guess I've used up my whining quota for at least a week now.
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Date: 2008-08-18 07:46 pm (UTC)Can you go out of your city? I don't mean travel to Prague, but far enough away that you won't run the chance of your mother knowing? Though she might need to know, especially if she helps pay for all your doctors appointments. Therapy/psychiatry isn't free (or at least, I wouldn't think it is).
Seeing as I don't think I'm helping at all, if you need somebody to talk to/amuse you/unstress you/stand on their head for no particular reason but to make you feel better, I'm here.
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Date: 2008-08-18 08:45 pm (UTC)And I dunno if I need any meds, but talk to somebody for sure. It's just getting worse and I don't have anybody in RL to talk to, not even my mother who's actually one of the main reasons why I'm feeling like this.
Anyways, thank you <33 You usually make me feel better=)) (Now if my net just would work for once, argh.)
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Date: 2008-08-18 08:55 pm (UTC)But if you just need to talk (I'm not enough? :() then you probably just need a therapist, who will decide if you should be on medication (if you ever get to that point, make sure COMPLETE SURE that you tell the doctor every single medication you're on and for heaven's sake, don't let him force you onto Effexor, it does more harm than good).
Look online if you have to. Or just ask your mom and pretend it's your friend who needs a therapist. Course that rarely helps. But good luck.
I'm glad! I try. I worry I try too hard and come off as retarded but... *stands on head*