Jan. 25th, 2009

barush: (dark genius nick)
You know what I hate? Stuff I need to do for school that requires some internet research. Because, you know, the internet is full of fan fiction that causes unwanted distraction. I have no will power to fight it so I just give in and start to look for fics I haven't read yet instead of searching for Spanish history in Spanish. I am fucking hopeless *facepalm*

Other than that... My grandfather's funeral is on the upcoming Friday. So instead of going skiing, I'm going to mourn with a few dozens of people I don't know, but they all know me. And you know what? I am fucking looking forward to it. Really. My mother told me they were gonna play 'Requiem' by Mozart there and I was like 'awesome!'. Never mind my grandfather died. Never mind my mother's depressed and doped up on antidepressants. I'm really wondering what kind of a creature I've turned into. I cried only once, for a while, and now... I'm not even sad. I don't... care. And frankly, it kind of scares me. I don't get myself anymore.

I will kneel at your feet
I will lie at your door
I will rock you to sleep
I will roll on the floor
And I'll ask for nothing
Nothing in this life
I'll ask for nothing
Give me ever-lasting life

There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes again


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Barbora

April 2009

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