barush | Bad day (aka Whining)

Today was a really bad day. For me anyway. It's not like something particularly bad happened, just one of those shitty days when nothing goes according to your plan. What plan, you wonder? Just a figure of speech, obviously. It all started in the morning, I had to wake up at 9, after 5 hours of sleep, to go to a vet with my friend and her rabbit. I was sleepy and grumpy and hot. Hot due to hot weather. Then I went home, still sleepy and even more grumpy, just to go to the city with the same friend in a while. When I stepped out of the door, I realized the temperature dropped like 10 degrees. And I had no time to go back for a sweater or something, perfect. Then we missed a bus so we had to wait on a bus stop, me freezing to death and my friend just fine in her cardigan. So much for jealousy.

I dunno whose idea it was actually, but we ended up eating a pizza for lunch. Outside. Yes, outside. But by that time I was already frozen so I didn't feel the cold anymore. Or that was what I was trying to tell myself. With little success though. On the way home I got a call from my mother telling me she'd be home after 9pm. I haven't seen her since Tuesday morning. From the tone of her voice I got the hint and realized just why she'd be home so late. My parents are divorced by the way, but we're still all living in the same flat. My mother and I are moving out around Christmas though. Can't wait.

I think the phone call was the last straw, after that my mood dropped same as the temperature had done before. I knew my mother would have another mEn, but that didn't mean I needed to know more about it. And the tone of her voice while telling me "I got stuck here" was just the more I didn't need. It made me sick to my stomach, literally. I know I'm over reacting but my already bad mood is to blame partially.

At that moment though I realized how lonely I actually am. I'm losing friends one after another. I've already heard some rumors that are supposed to be circulating around, about me being a "gossiping bitch". Well, I'm not aware I've said anything, but I'll have to wait till Monday when school starts. There are 2 people I can be absolutely honest with and can rely on them. The rest... Just "mates". There was a point today where I felt like crying but I managed to suppress it. I think I'm on a verge of a real depression and I'm seriously thinking about visiting a psychiatrist. So much for the irony with both my parents being psychologists.

Now I'm sitting here, hot from fever and sore throat, about to go out with our half-dead dog. I'm not being bitter, I just don't care anymore. I've given up inwardly.