On another note, I just got back from the hairdresser. He was as cute as ever=) And my hair is kinda short again and a bit... purple I guess. Well, something between red and purple anyways.
Oh and my Che Guevara fic is now planned, almost, so I just need to get around to actually writing it. And omg I can't wait for today's (tomorrow's for me, I'm downloading it) House =) Nipple twister ftw lol
Other than that, I've sent my last uni application today so that's over and done with and now I'm just praying I'll actually get somewhere *sigh* The entrance exams are usually in May and June so I've a while yet to start freaking out.
'Kay, that's it I guess, Marcus Aurelius and others are calling. Can hear them, really.
Anyways, seeing as I'm not up to studying yet, I'm doing memes. Yes, memes , there are two.
This one I stole from demetrelli
USING ONLY ONE WORD! It's not as easy as you might think! Copy and paste (into notes) and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to tag the person you received it from!
( One word )
'Kay, so that wasn't easy at all.
The second meme, I was tagged by thegreenkat
( Black hole inside a frame )demetrelli , cookie_wolf , zimena , roterhimmel , seether_79 , pushingmeaway , mononoke_007 , cat_irix
'Kay, can't stay here too long, the screen's making me positively boil. Just needed to whine a bit. Take care, all of you.
Anyways, I've sent most of the university applications, 5 to be precise, and I'll think about sending more. I've till the end of February to do that. Basically I've stuck to my initial ideas and applied for English, Spanish and special pedagogy, divided among 3 cities (Olomouc, Brno and Prague, if it tells you anything). However, I've only one for Prague so I'll think about something more. And I'm starting to have this feeling that I won't get anywhere, which is entirely possible. Oh well.
Other than that, I've finished the seminar work of doom for history. It took me like 3 days only, so that was surprising. I guess that with the level of apprehension I feel the time spent on the actual task lowers exponentially. I was writing about my grandmother's life before, during and after the World War Two, but I've probably mentioned that here already, ages ago.
Oh and we've had holidays this week, which I've spent writing the seminar work and reading House fics. Tells a lot about my life, eh? But I've been to cinema at least to see the new movie about Che Guevara and I loved it <33 If you're a history freak, like Cuba or are just interested in El Che, it's a must see.
Now I've a craving to write. Maybe even House, hm. Well, I'll see.
Other than that... My grandfather's funeral is on the upcoming Friday. So instead of going skiing, I'm going to mourn with a few dozens of people I don't know, but they all know me. And you know what? I am fucking looking forward to it. Really. My mother told me they were gonna play 'Requiem' by Mozart there and I was like 'awesome!'. Never mind my grandfather died. Never mind my mother's depressed and doped up on antidepressants. I'm really wondering what kind of a creature I've turned into. I cried only once, for a while, and now... I'm not even sad. I don't... care. And frankly, it kind of scares me. I don't get myself anymore.
I will kneel at your feet
I will lie at your door
I will rock you to sleep
I will roll on the floor
And I'll ask for nothing
Nothing in this life
I'll ask for nothing
Give me ever-lasting life
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes again
My grandfather died yesterday night, but they told us today. Well, my mother told me. It was her father, btw. He had been in a hospital for over a month (some vascular problems) but it really was rather unexpected. They don't really know what happened so we must wait for the autopsy. Oh well. I could rant about it, and I probably will at some point, but I don't have the energy now.
Also, I've learnt today one of my classmates has cervical cancer=/ I knew she wasn't really healthy (she's anorexic too) but this really hit me. Apparently, she's already been operated but I've no idea how it went or anything. We're not particularly close, but I have known her for 6 years so that makes you care for a person. Oh well. I hope she'll be alright.
And I should study maths, but I don't feel like it at all. I'd like to just go to bed and cry myself to sleep =/
Obama, however, makes today a tad bit better.
I'll be actually wearing a dress tomorrow. I look like an idiot in it, I'm too fat to wear a dress but it's a kind of an unwritten rule for these things so I don't wanna stand out. Most of the girls in my class are asking each other all the time 'what dress are you gonna wear?', what colour?', long or short?', but somehow I'm usually not a part of such discussions. Usually. Anyways, that's probably the only positive thing about this, the dress-stuff will stop lol
And my mother managed to piss me off once again. She told me something along the lines of "imagine you're showing the pics from the ball to your kids and telling them: "Look how fat I was at that ball," hahaha." Apparently it's really funny but if the comments don't stop I'm gonna snap and then it won't be funny anymore. Grrrr.
Anyways, if I'm not around much this weekend I'm probably sleeping off the hangover. I'm not planning to get drunk
Other than that, my hands are freezing. But the rest of my body is kinda warm so that's just weird.
Also, I don't wanna fucking grow old. Never. Ever. No I'm not hoping to live forever, God forbid, I just don't wanna be old. I'll probably off myself when the first important organ/part of my body gives out, and that wouldn't have to take too long either. Because if I ever end up like my grandfather it will be much worse than dying young.
Now, I said it. And surely I'll be run over by a bus when I step outside the next. Because, you all know what happened to John Lennon, right? And he always said that growing old was the thing he feared the most in life.
Anyways, I need to sign up for the CAE exam till the 16th of this month and pay a shitload of money to that date too. Why, or why, is this exams so fucking expensive?! I'll laugh my ass off if I fail it or get a C (a B would be okay but an A is an A, you know?). The exam itself will be on March 14th so I've plenty of time to get worked up over it.
My hands are a bit warmer now, typing helps. Maybe I should start typing up the essay, just to warm my hands. I need little unimportant goals, because the word 'important' triggers something in my brain that immediately starts telling me 'read fan fiction, quick, quick!'. Unbelievable, really.
So, I'm gonna warm up my hands.
Put your MP3 player on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results. The first line of the twenty-first is the title.
It's Not Right We Cover Our Lies With Silence
I see you walking home alone, your face is alive and bright
America! We love you!
Take a little walk to the edge of town, go across the track
I can't stand to let you in
Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly
So long ago, was it in a dream, was it just a dream?
It's been a while since I've been here
In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi
She said I like just lying on the bed
Why does it feel like night today?
Say my name, say name, if no one is around you, say 'baby I love you'
Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Come sail your ships around me and burn your bridges down
Don't let me down
Telling me to go, but hands beg me to stay
Story of my life, searching for the right
Stranger than kindness, bottled light from hotels
Sapped and stupid I lie upon the stones and I swoons
Some days I just wanna up and call it quits
Every time I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer
I thought it ended up being a pretty cool poem =)) Certainly better than anything I'd ever attempt to write =)
Won't it be strange when we're all fully grown.
So I guess it's time to wish you all a
since I dunno how long I'll be on. I'm going to a tea room with a few of my friends and then I'm planning to watch Fight Club to celebrate the new year =)) Anyways, I hope you all will have a wonderful time and let's hope 2009 is (even?) better than 2008!
Love you all <33
( Pics (nothing special though, so don't get your hopes up) )